Coping with loss

Religious people claim there is a heaven and hell. They also claim the good go up the bad go down. Even some say the good go down because of something bad they’ve done during life.

The truth is, how do we really know where one goes after death? How do we know that their spirit isn’t just with us helping us get through the pain of their deaths? Answer is, we really don’t know. What is said are words or scriptures written in a book that no one truthfully knows who it was written by.

On the very early morning of September 12, 2018, Not only did I, but hundreds of others lost two of the most amazing people in the world due to a horrible car accident. These two Men recently became fathers to two precious little girls. This tragedy hit home hard. No one, especially their parents, will ever fully recover from this. These two were special in so many ways.

The one thing I hate most is when people say “It’s going to be ok” or “They’re in a better place”. What if the better place was here, with the living, with us? It will never be easy to accept that they’re not here. It’s a feeling that most refuse to accept. I know that I won’t. I don’t want to. I want them back here and for this nightmare to end.

Coping with loss is never easy. It is the hardest thing to have to fathom. The pain is so real, it leaves a void somewhere within your heart. A pain that you feel, but don’t feel. Moving on and going forward in life is not easy either. There is no answer as to how to really deal with death. There never will be.

So how do we go on with life during their absence? By continuing to share the good times (as well as the bad) with everyone. Sharing awesome tales of things they’ve done with their children. Never forgetting who they are and what they meant in this world. The recovery process is never easy and of course, hearts heal in time. But they only heal when we are ready to heal. Not when people tell us to.

So to all who knew Shawn J and Hec S, take your time with this. Cry until you are satisfied and don’t want to cry anymore. Don’t accept the loss until you are ready to. And to the beautiful mothers who took care of them and raised them to be MEN, don’t ever let go and follow your hearts. Let go when you feel you are ready to. Move on when you are ready to. Not when people tell you to.

September 12, 2018 was the worst day in my life as well as the lives of others. Mourning this situation will be so difficult. We were not ready. Every day, hour, and minute that goes by, they both will be in our hearts and in our thoughts. I will cry until my tears run dry. This is not goodbye guys. It never will be. Ever.

Sleep in peace Shawn J and Hec S. Spread your wings and fly during your journey home.

With Love,


One thought on “Coping with loss

  1. M says:

    Beautifully written. I tell me people who have suffered a loss, grief has no expiration date.

    I’m to hold you as you all the tears that you need to shed.

    Love you baby.


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